| I am fat |
[Jun. 21st, 2006|08:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Ali Babas | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Everytime-Britney Spearts | ] |
So today my friend posted pics of me on facebook and I look FAT. I MEAN FAT. We all know that I don't usually care but this picture just totally made me see myself in the most disgusting light ever. My fat is everywhere and I hate it. Yes the resturant has contributed to my fatness but also my lazyness and how I don't do any physical activities. I have decided to not eat anymore Ali Babas and to start excercising again. I'm seriously gonna start running everymorning and every night with a trip to gym. Also, I seriously I am no longer gonna go eat Baklava...its so unhealthy for me. Its not even about appearance either...I really am in really bad health, I don't take care of myself...I have my dad as an example and I should start taking care of myself because things run in my family that are bad. I am so bad and I feel like shit, I feel fat, and I feel lazy. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH |
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| I'm not crazy just cracked out |
[Jun. 10th, 2006|01:11 am] |
ok so i remember this show on nickelodeon....puppets were involved and when the contestant went into this machine they came out with puppet bodies and played this game at the end were they would try to use these puppet hands to knock things over....the host looks crazy and this chef always said...."special is 13.50"
does anyone else remember this show and know the name of it????? |
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| To one sitting on the table, your wearing maroon colored shirt |
[Jun. 8th, 2006|07:02 pm] |
Erotica, romance (repeat)
My name is dita
Ill be your mistress tonight
Id like to put you in a trance
If I take you from behind
Push myself into your mind
When you least expect it
Will you try and reject it
If Im in charge and I treat you like a child
Will you let yourself go wild
Let my mouth go where it wants to
Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
Ill give you love, Ill hit you like a truck
Ill give you love, Ill teach you how to ...
Id like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body (repeat twice)
Erotic, erotic
Once you put your hand in the flame
You can never be the same
Theres a certain satisfaction
In a little bit of pain
I can see you understand
I can tell that youre the same
If youre afraid, well rise above
I only hurt the ones I love
Give it up, do as I say
Give it up and let me have my way
Ill give you love, Ill hit you like a truck
Ill give you love, Ill teach you how to ...
Id like to put you in a trance, all over
Erotic, erotic, put your hands all over my body (repeat twice)
Erotic, erotic
Erotica, romance
Id like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body
I dont think you know what pain is
I dont think youve gone that way
I could bring you so much pleasure
Ill come to you when you say
I know you want me
Im not gonna hurt you
Im not gonna hurt you, just close your eyes
Erotic, erotic (repeat several times)
Put your hands all over my body
All over me, all over me
Erotica, [give it up, give it up] romance
Id like to put you in a trance
Erotica, [give it up, give it up] romance
I like to do a different kind of
Erotica, [give it up, give it up] romance
Id like to put you in a trance
Erotica, romance
Put your hands all over my body
Only the one that hurts you can make you feel better
Only the one that inflicts pain can take it away |
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| Update |
[May. 25th, 2006|12:47 pm] |
I still love and miss guillermo!! |
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| Semana |
[Apr. 28th, 2006|03:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Jesus Christ Had Dredlocks So Shake Them | ] |
This past week has been really hectic and hellish for me, I can't begin to tell you how many midterms and papers I have had to write, I guess that happends when you take six classes. Besides scool, things seem not so stressful in terms of my social life. I went clubbin on sunday, it was hella tight, the men were hot and so was the music. I went with Jason and Jorge and that shit was great. Jason just got dumped by his boyfriend of three years and so now he is ultra depressed. Hmmm I had to write 2 papers and took two midterms this past week, but after that was done, I went to the Crib in San Francisco, that place waz crackin. The hot guys and the fucken music just blended together. Jason hated it because he is still depressed but I was dancing and shaking my ass on the floor. Oh and at 21(sac club), I made out with this random white boy, he was cute.....at the crib, this hot latino and I shared a brief kiss. Yet I went home with Jason, who is still hung up on his ex. Other things going on in life is all the activities going on this whole quarter, I am really tired but all these events are going on for a reason. I feel like I am lagging it as far as school is concerned, like I haven't put forth the work, especially in Professor Rousse's class...which I love but I sometimes feel like I can totally put that class off. My three spanish classes are going fine, I just don't like the linguistics class for spanish...it sucks. Professor Krupa's lectures are so amazing for my Political Economy class...the man is brilliant and he is so laid back too, plus he is gorgeous and I have this huge crush on him. Other than that, not much else is going on, I am starting to hate working at Ali Baba, its become so like, GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I don't look forward to it anymore but I am sticking to it, were so short staff as it is, plus I get the free meal. |
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| FUCK I MISSED THE BASTARD, I THOUGHT I HAD GOTTEN OVER IT |
[Apr. 6th, 2006|02:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Frozen-Madonna | ] |
From : Guillermo Martinez <wolfelizer03@yahoo.com>
Sent : Wednesday, October 27, 2004 1:39 PM
To : Jonathon Pitpit <blckdrgnx@hotmail.com>
Subject : Yup u know
You know what i was just got in a bad mood cuz a coworker pissed me off really bad. Anyways I know i shouldn't had said that cuz you do tell me everything and i hardly tell you about my personall prob. Only that my life istn't as interesting, by the way not a joke. Well I know i should trust you alot, and i do i trust you more than my friends. Well I wasn't checking up onn you i just wanted to talk to someone, because i had a bad week so far, nothing big just lil things that happen. |
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| Planning the Best Night Ever |
[Apr. 6th, 2006|02:33 am] |
From : Guillermo Martinez <wolfelizer03@yahoo.com>
Sent : Wednesday, January 26, 2005 5:00 PM
To : Jonathon Pitpit <blckdrgnx@hotmail.com>
Subject : Hey u
Look is this ok for the juanes tix
Juanes
Universal Amphitheatre , Universal City, CA
Fri, May 6, 2005 08:15 PM
I don't know about the seating thing cuz i don't have enough time i just want to make sure im getting the right one.Cuz i forgot when you can come over, are you still comming? By the way don't be mad if the seat you wanted are sold out, remb i wait till last minute, so sorry just incase.
Call me, or leave a message if this is correct. |
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| The missed memories |
[Apr. 6th, 2006|02:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Deserve It-Madonna | ] |
From : Guillermo Martinez <wolfelizer03@yahoo.com>
Sent : Monday, January 3, 2005 2:59 PM
To : Jonathon Pitpit <blckdrgnx@hotmail.com>
Subject : you know what?
YOu know what i am actually goind to miss you i just
didn't want to admit it. Hey where you about to cry
when you said good bye. You looked really sad, i was
goind to hug you, but i didn't want you to get
emotional.
Just thought i should say that
Guillermo |
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| Selfish |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|12:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Algo De Mi-Conjunto Primavera | ] |
I guess I didn't realize how selfish I am about everything. Reason I lost my best friend, reason that my friend really got annoyed by me, and I guess its why I tend to drive people away. Its sad that I didn't realize this before or that my actions do have consequence, also that my actions are a reflection of who I am. |
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| Dammit Eddie. |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|08:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pensive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Queer As Folk Season 3 Episode 3 | ] |
So I just had dinner with Eddie and he talked to me about things that I really didn't want to talk about. He said that the whole time Guillermo was talking to me(in the beginning) it was only me he talked to. He lost touched with a lot of his friends with High School. I didn't know that. He then talked about how I don't want to let go cause I never did anything with him....he basically said both of us should hook up in order to get over it. What was funny is that Guillermo doesn't want to know about what went on with me and Eddie(which was just a kiss). I miss Guillermo though, I miss him a lot and I wish I could talk to him once more, to at least say goodbye to him. |
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| Mixed |
[Mar. 2nd, 2006|11:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | indescribable | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Don't Lie-Shakira | ] |
Eddie is here: YaY
NE'UE RROC: YaY
Midterms Done: Yay
YK RROC: :( |
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| I FUCKEN HATE YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!! |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|01:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  enraged | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Malo-Bebe | ] |
MALO-BEBE (LYRICS CHANGED BY ME TO FIT THE SITUATION)
Apareciste una noche fría,
con olor a tabaco sucio y a ginebra,
el miedo ya me recorría
mientras cruzaba los deditos tras la puerta.
Tu carita de niño guapo
se la ha ido comiendo el tiempo por tus venas,
y tu inseguridad machista
se refleja cada día en mis lagrimitas.
Una vez más no por favor
que estoy cansá y no puedo con el corazón,
una vez más no mi amor por favor
no grites que los niños duermen.(x2)
Voy a volverme como el fuego,
voy a quemar tus puños de acero
y del moraó de mis mejillas
saldra el valor pa' cobrarme las heridas.
Malo, malo malo eres,
no se daña a quién se quiere ¡no!
Tonto, tonto tonto eres,
no te pienses mejor que YO.(x2)
El día es gris cuando tu estás
y el sol vuelve a salir cuando te vas,
y la penita de mi corazón
yo me la tengo que tragar con el fogón.
Mi carita de niño lindo
se la ha ido envejeciendo en el silencio
cada vez que me dices ¡puta!
se hace tu cerebro más pequeño.
Una vez más no por favor
que estoy cansá y no puedo con el corazón,
una vez más no mi amor por favor
no grites que los niños duermen.(x2)
Voy a volverme como el fuego,
voy a quemar tus puños de acero
y del moraó de mis mejillas
saldrá el valor pa' cobrarme las heridas.
Malo, malo malo eres,
no se daña a quién se quiere ¡no!
Tonto, tonto tonto eres,
no te pienses mejor que yo.(x2)
Voy a volverme como el fuego
voy a quemar tus puños de acero
y del moraó de mis mejillas
saldrá el valor pa' cobrarme las heridas.
Malo, malo malo eres,
no se daña a quién se quiere ¡no!
Tonto, tonto tonto eres,
no te pienses mejor que yo.(x2)
Malo, malo malo eres
malo eres porque quieres
Malo, malo malo eres
no me chilles que me duele
Eres débil y eres malo
y no te pienses mejor que yo ni que nadie.
Y ahora yo me fumo un cigarrito,
y te hecho el humo en el corazoncito. Porque malo, malo malo eres ¡tú!
Malo, malo malo eres ¡si!
Malo, malo malo eres ¡siempre!
Malo, malo malo eres |
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| It finally clicked |
[Feb. 22nd, 2006|08:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejected | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Noviembre Sin Ti-Reik | ] |
so yeah this whole Guillermo issue just hit me and I am just a mess. I tried not breakingdown and I succeed, however, I just want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Why did this have to happend??? How did I fuck this up??? Why did I fucke this up??? I should have never pushed him the way I did, I should have never been so persistent in him opening up to me or him showing that he cared about our friendship. I should have distinguished what he felt for what he didn't. BUT NO I FUCKED THIS UP AND I LOST MY BEST FRIEND, THE ONLY FRIEND THAT KNEW EVERYTHING ABOUT ME AND ITS ALL MY FAULT!!!! I wish I could go back in time and start all over with him, he needed me as his best friend, not the guy who was in love with him!!!!!!!!! |
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| Randomness |
[Feb. 21st, 2006|07:29 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Adoro-Bronco | ] |
Eddie is the guy that hated me and I hated him. However, it was because Guillermo pitted us against each other for his attention....now that Eddie and I are cool I have started to really like him, infact I really like him. He is so intelligent, straightforward, funny, dorky, and I really like how he speaks to me without being afraid of my reaction. During the whole Guillermo issue, he really just told me what I needed to hear but what no one was telling me. As I talked to him more I started to like him a lot more, so I've realized that I have a crush on him :)
As Stated in previous entries, he is coming to visit me :)
Also, a trip to Vegas for my 21st. Staying at the PALMS....woo hoo bitches!!!! |
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| Hella Excited |
[Feb. 21st, 2006|12:00 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Wild Horses-Alicia Keys and Adam Levine | ] |
Eddie is visiting me on March 2nd-March9th :) I cannot wait to see him!!!! |
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| The Email |
[Feb. 19th, 2006|11:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fix You-Coldplay | ] |
I realized last time we talked something. If you remember it was when I just got my phone activated like the day after that. We talked and well we where having a good conversation, untill I had to go, because my friends where going to pick me up. Well once I told you I had to go you said ok. Then after that you messaged me, saying I know you let me go to talk to someone else. That action right their really pissed me off just for the sence that you said that. As it was i was having a bad that day, and Im sorry for cuzing you off that night.
Only that this is not the reason that im not talking to you. The reason Im not talking to you, is because you still have feelings for me. I realized that, that night, after the litle anger was gone. Well I am feeling guilty for all this, now I feel like if im leading you onn. I'ts not only about you, I feel like shit when I hear that you get all depress about me doing saying or doing something stuppid to you. I know you about all those times you have even mention some of those cases to me. Honestly I have no idea on how to handle all that emotional stuff, im verry rational about all this emotions.
I was hopeing that you would get over me and find a great guy that you loved and that treated you well. That way our friendship would still be great and all and advanced you know. Only that I don't think you can form a relationship whit someone else untill you get over me. That is why I have taken that decision of not talking to you.
In conclusion I think that we should stop talking. For the reason that I see you having some strong feelings for me, and I don't see you getting over it any time soon.
P.S
This was my decision only, nobody had any input in it. Neighter my friends or bf.
THe email from Guillermo |
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| Best V-Day Ever |
[Feb. 15th, 2006|01:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nothing Fails-Madonna | ] |
So I worked from 6-9pm. However my love brought me KFC and I hooked it up with some Ali Baba's. We then went for ice cream and went to see Brokeback Mountain. I thought of Guillermo when watching, its so depressing. This eveninig was just beautiful. Thank you my love :) |
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| I am So Not Gonna Forget |
[Feb. 14th, 2006|12:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Headstrong-Trapt | ] |
Some issues have really been bothering me as of late and I don't really want to forget or talk to you like nothing happend. I am still quite upset and its bugging the shit out of me. However, me bringing up shit like this just makes me look like the asshole, so I have to stay quite. I hate that, yet I hate even more how I somewhat care what others think. |
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| Blah |
[Feb. 7th, 2006|08:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tu Cuidate-La Oreja De Van Gogh | ] |
To some extent this is just a misuderstanding. However, egos are getting in the way of any resolution. I do hope that this person realizes that when stuff just pops out of nowhere, that they know they don't need to be invited to anything only because of how good of friends we are. Im sure they remember certain parties where everything has been discussed infront of a certain person, yet a formal invitation was never offered, yet it was assumed that since certain people were going, that so was I. lets hope we can put things aside and just talk about stuff cause this shouldn't let things ruin friendships among anybody. |
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| Overdue Update |
[Feb. 7th, 2006|02:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | mellow | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Karma Police-Radiohead | ] |
So apperantly I pissed off more than one person this week....(nice going pitpit). I had always assume that if your friends are planning something and you are there hearing about it, that you don't need an invitation to go out anywhere. I also thought that inviting your roomate and having your roomate tell you about it was also an inivatation. I guess I thought wrong because at work, someone felt excluded. My so called new friends really didn't have anything to do with it. I understand that this person has been there for me for the longest, however, sometimes that person forgets that when your extremely close to someone, that a formal invitation is not needed to hang out. As far as the ignoring comments are concerned, I was in the back doing my job, the cook had asked for me to chop vegetables that were needed, thus I was stuck in the back. Although I do feel responsible for what went down, I also know that it was a misunderstanding, specifically when I have been told that I don't need an invitation to go out with my friends. I've said my piece. Yet I don't know if I want to approach this person because they are extremely angered and hurt, however, as the situation calms down, I hope things get better because this person is such a good friend, I just hope things can go past this. |
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